Hypathia's Daughter

challenging my maternal instincts

2008-09-21T23:57:00.002-04:00

Part of my job is to take care of my US students who are studying here in Peru as regular students. So far "to take care" has meant going out for "heart to heart" sessions when they felt home sick, help them with translating some words, getting around and some safety issues; but the beginning of this semester changed everything and really challenged me in many different levels. One of my students' appendix burst and I had to rush her to the ER. She had been here for less than 2 weeks when this happened. While I was driving her to the hospital, I could only remember the horrible stories I had while studying abroad in NYC (especially the ones with urologists). Fulana might remember one of them. Having said that, the only thing I knew was to never leave my student by herself. The phonecall I had to make to her mom (who, coincidentally, lives in NYC) has been the toughest I had made so far in my career. She came three days later to stay with her daughter (who had to be in the hospital for 6 days) and I went back to the orientation talks and activities with the rest of the group.

One of the things that were moved inside of me during the three days I stayed with L in the hospital was my idea that maternal instincts do not exist. I had this gigantic desire to take care of her, it was as if seeing her weak made me stronger. Like a lion taking care of her cub. Of course, deep inside, I was scared to death. Needles to say, we have bonded and now she is one of the students that I know the best (and as I said to her: I now know her inside out, hahahaha).

The second thing was that it showed me how strong I could be. I learned the tough way in NYC that I was strong; but this time it proved me how strong I can be in my own country. It was ironic because I had just told my students, before this happened, that living abroad is one of the ways of seeing how strong one can be and L reminded me when we were at the ER of the stories I told them during the "culture shock" talk. So, I know what they are going through because I have lived it. Although I wish I had someone like me that could have cared for me during the most difficult moments when I felt that I was lonely. Do not take me wrong, I am very grateful for my rommies, my Jewish mom and my friends; but there is a sense of helplessness that one has while being abroad that cannot be described.

This experience has made me think about me being single, not dating, being in my "mid thirties" and having no children. But I guess I don't want to get into that. At least not today. I just wanted to write something since my fulana has complainted that I have not blogged in a long time. The truth is that I did not know how to do it, how to express all of my feeling with words.

Well... I will continue later. Now I have to focus on two articles I have to write for the UNDP about (oh irony of life!) maternity, gender, sexual rights and health.

lost

2008-03-27T20:54:00.002-04:00

I just came back from one of the most beautiful places in the world, Cuzco. I am very happy that, because of my job, I get to be there twice a year.

Thank you Fulana for asking about me. I know I have disappeared from the face of virtual earth. My job has taken all of my time. Time from my social life (which before was almost non existent), time from my dissertation, etc. My job as a resident director of a study abroad program has also made me think a lot about my own experience as a foreign student. These past days, talking to the students about culture shock, trying to fit in a culture that is not yours, has made me remember about me 8 years ago. A frightened me. An insecure me.

When I see their faces I wonder if they will end up like me. Of course they only come for 5 months or one year top. I spent 6 years in NYC and now I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I feel like my friends are all over the place. Not that I have no friends. But that... why would I spend time in making friends if I will be leaving anyway? It is a weird feeling because I know I will be staying here for a long time. This is (supposedly) my home. Although I don't know what to call home now.

I have been thinking a lot recently. I had a bad car accident before my trip and that also made think. My feeling of insecurity grew. I participated in a TV show last Monday (kind of the View but with two guys and one girl) where we discussed marriage. Yes, marriage. I was the only single one among 5 happily married people talking about love and marriage. Why did you invite me? I asked. Half joking, half seriously.

And it may be that I still feel that I don't fit in. I don't fit in NYC. I don't fit in Lima. I can't understand Peruvian men (I couldn't before leaving and it's even worst now that I am back).

I am happy in Lima. Don't take me wrong. It is just a constant feeling, like a small headache, of not belonging here anymore.

Any painkillers for that?

scars

2008-01-04T19:25:00.000-05:00

Scars are there to remind you of your mistakes. My leg has two. Those are the new ones reminding me of the pain I went through.

Today my scars are hurting. It might be the beginning of the year. It might be reading about people, realizing that I haven't accomplish what I wanted, facing my own weakness... it might be a lot of things.

Today it hurts.

upset

2008-01-02T23:11:00.000-05:00

My other blog is still locked. It was locked on December 18 by blogger and, even though I have followed their unlocking link twice, nothing has happened. Surfing the web, I have encountered more people with the same problem. I do not want to create a new blog, I really like my old one. But it looks like I will have to open a new one.

felices fiestas / happy holidays

2007-12-25T12:54:00.000-05:00

My other blog has been blocked by google. They say it looks like a spam blog!!!! So, I can't post on it. Therefore, this will be my first (and don't know if last) bilingual post.

I only want to wish happy holidays to all of you out there in the blog world. May all your dreams come true!!!!

Mi otro blog ha sido bloqueado por google. Dicen que es un spam. No se realmente por que me han dicho eso, pero a pesar de haber pedido que sea desbloqueado, sigo sin poder escribir en el. Mientras tanto, tendre que hacer que Hypatia sea bilingue.

Les deseo unas muy felices fiestas y que todos sus deseos se vuelvan realidad!!!!

and this is why I love Socrates

2007-12-19T20:07:00.000-05:00

these days

2007-12-17T00:10:00.000-05:00

this is exactly how I feel these days... whatever!!!

AIDS

2007-12-02T21:55:00.000-05:00

one day late because I didn't have access to the internet...

you would have been 38

2007-11-19T16:45:00.000-05:00

and I would have gone to your place tonight. We would have talked about your friends, your crazy weekend, the fact that we did not go to our high school reunion on Saturday because we do not feel like belonging there. We never did. We would have made fun of our professors (especially Charo), our classmates, the school... We would have laughed for hours. You would have made fun of me, as usual. I would have still loved you. As I still do.

Today I miss you deeply. And I cannot help it.

colorful...

2007-11-12T11:31:00.001-05:00

last week, my beetle had problems and I had to park it and wait for help. The interesting thing is that there were 3 more beetles from 3 different colors parked in front of me. What a colorful VW image!!!!!!

classes

2007-11-03T00:12:00.000-04:00

thank God my classes are not like this (I hope!)...

it's fall already?????

2007-10-15T17:26:00.000-04:00

and this is why I love Dove...

2007-10-14T22:06:00.001-04:00

being a professor (second part)

2007-10-14T14:17:00.001-04:00

and a new cake! this is from my students at the "adult division"...

unbelievably delicious!!!!!!!!!

being a professor

2007-10-12T19:27:00.000-04:00

one of the rewards of being a professor is that, when it's your b'day and you teach a class, students can pamper you with a nice chocolate cake. Do I love my students? Oh yes I do!!!! Aren't they cute??? Isn't my cake cute???

violence came back

2007-09-24T16:01:00.000-04:00

The crying eye is a memorial for the 70,000 people who died during the armed conflict. Some of them during Fujimori's mandate. The main sculpture represents a crying eye (mourning for the 70,000 deaths) and is sorrounded by a labyrinth of stones that have the name of a victim painted over. I took this picture last year when I visited it.

Fujimori, our former president, has been extradited by Chile. He is facing now 7 trials, most of them for crimes against humanity. He got to Peru on Saturday and on Sunday, 15 people went to where the memorial is, tied up the guardian, destroyed the stones and painted the sculpture with orange paint (the color of Fujimori's party).

The Fujimoristas that attacked this sculpture are trying to show the public that Fujimori is back and that terrorists or communists (which to them are the same) should fear. For them, the names of the victims are that of terrorists (in fact, they killed peasants and innocent people because they saw them as terrorists or potential terrorists). Fujimori instrumentalized fear during his mandate. And his followers only know that.

For us, we do not fear. We want justice and we will fight for it. Peru will make history by putting him into prison for his crimes against humanity. I trust my fellow Peruvians, especially those involved in human rights organizations.

Justice will be made.

b'day...

2007-09-19T16:21:00.000-04:00

not today but in less than a month, this may be my answer to this question...

working and working

2007-09-14T22:25:00.000-04:00

These past weeks I have been promoting my new program in Peru. This has taken me to Montreal (LASA) where we had a booth and talked to people about the great aspects of this new program.

I am in Indy now, after having travelled to Oklahoma, San Antonio and Austin. I have enjoyed meeting faculty and study abroad advisors. Tomorrow I will go to Ithaca, Boston and NYC and then back to Lima.

Even though I am very happy of having this job, my dissertation is not going as fast as I would like it to go. But, well, one has debts to pay for... student loans. The irony of grad life: once you become an ABD, you have to start working to pay for the student loans you got to study in a PhD program instead of being able to write your dissertation and finally become the doctor you wanted to be (and the reason why you went to grad school in the first place).

Life is so bizarre.

Back to writing my dissertation...

is my dissertation worth something?

2007-08-28T23:18:00.001-04:00

mmm....

my Simpson picture

2007-08-26T14:59:00.003-04:00

so, I should be preparing my class or working on a budget but no! no! I am creating and loving my Simpson picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn you facebook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

having nightmares about my dissertation

2007-08-24T21:52:00.000-04:00

I dreamt last night that Nancy Fraser, who is my faculty advisor (not the chair of my committee who actually is Jim Miller), was screaming at me for not working hard enough on my dissertation. It was a horrible nightmare; but kind of funny once I woke up and remembered it. Although I think it shows how guilty I feel that I cannot dedicate enough time to write my dissertation because I am teaching.

*sigh*

Some PhD comics for all the ABDs like me who are suffering at this stage of their grad students' lives.

earthquake in Peru how to help

2007-08-16T13:14:00.000-04:00

As you may know we suffered two earthquakes of 7.9 degrees last night that came one after the other. They lasted 2 minutes in total. There are (so far) 370 deaths and more than 800 injured. And the earth is still shaking (340 little quakes so far).

The YMCA of Peru's manager (who is a very good friend of mine) told me that she has opened a bank account to get donations and help the cities most affected by the two earthquakes that are Pisco, Ica and Chincha. The YMCA of Germany is sending 6 doctors to help.

I hope you can help the people from Peru. Any amount would be very useful, since it is winter here and people are living on the streets, because their houses have collapsed.

The info is:

Bank: Scotiabank

Name on the account: Asociacion Cristiana de Jovenes del Peru- YMCA PERU

Account number: 009-035-001109000153-75

Swift code: BSUDPEPL

my favorite subway station

2007-08-15T00:07:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite subway stations in Manhattan is the 14th street/8th ave station. I lived in the Greenwich Village during my second semester at the New School for Social Research in 2001 and that was "my" station. I always enjoyed looking at the Tom Otterness sculptures and loved to discover more and more of them not only in the station but around the city.

This time I wanted to see them again and took pictures of some of them. I didn't have enough time for going through the station and taking pictures (I missed the cocodrile one that is one of my favorites) because I was running back to my friend's place to catch the shuttle to the airport.

But I wanted to share with you some of the sculptures that I got a chance to take a picture of.

Enjoy...

Do you want to know more about Tom Otterness artwork in the NYC subway system? click here!

shall we take a nap???

2007-07-28T19:01:00.000-04:00

(Manhattan's central park zoo)

a world wonder!!!!!!

2007-07-07T22:19:00.001-04:00

the final results of the "new seven wonders of the world" contest have been just released and Machu Picchu, our amazing city, has been selected as one of them. This makes me feel extremely proud of the history of my country; but also concerned about the responsibility we will have to preserve this (as this means more publicity for the country, more money that will get there but more tourists, therefore, more weight on the stones, more careless people walking around, etc).

But today is all about celebrating the history and legacy of my amazing country: Peru. I will celebrate in NY though (where I am).

Drink a pisco sour on the name of Machu Picchu and plan to visit it soon. You'll never regret it.

Machu Pichu!!!!

2007-07-01T23:00:00.000-04:00

It is always a pleasure to go to Cusco city. I haven't been there since 1994 and I have to say that Cusco city has changed a lot. The main square has very fancy restaurants and shops. It still has its magic though, but you can definitely see how much money is there. I remembered the streets filled with backpackers. But now, you can see rich tourists, along with the usual backpackers.

Some things haven't changed... like the extremely cute children asking you for "guan dolar mis" for a picture or a postcard.

Cusco keeps its magic. That same magic that makes you want to come once and again. Especially if you can have a cup of coffee with a friend while enjoying the view of the Cathedral at night.

And, of course, Mapi (Machu Pichu) remains as one of the most magical places in the world...

To get there you have three options (four if you are Peruvian): the backpacker train, the Vistadome (which we took) and the Hiram Bingham. This one is the most expensive and fancy one (each ticket costs around US$500) and is the one the "celebs" that come to Mapi take (like Cameron Diaz and Bill Gates last week). But for the normal working class people: the vistadome is a nice option (I will suggest you to take the Vistadome 2 and enjoy the show they give you during the 4 hr trip!!!!!). Moreover, the Vistadome 2 gives you a superb view of the Andes on your way back to Cusco city:

Also, the buses that take you up to Mapi are nice and organized (and ecological!!!). There are expensive hotels in Aguas Calientes (the town that is at the bottom of the mountain where Mapi is and where the train arrives) that weren't there 13 yrs ago.

One good thing is that they are restricting the number of people that can go up to the Wayna Pichu (the mountain behind Machu Pichu) and the number of people that can do the Inca's trail (if you would like to do it, you would have to book it at least 6 months in advance). They haven't put a fixed number of people that can enter the city of Mapi yet and I hope (even though that can be a pain in the neck for my job) they do it.

We have to take care of this world wonder, so our children would be able to enjoy it the way we can do now.

visiting the sacred city of Caral

2007-06-28T01:35:00.000-04:00

Caral is the oldest civilization of America. Built in 3000 b.c. it is changing the way world history has been written. As the guide was telling us, it took years for the "archaeological international community" to accept that Caral was a developed civilization that flourished as the same time as Mesopotamia, Egypt, India and China (meaning, we aren't the "new world").

We visited it yesterday and I definitely recommend you to come if you are in town. It takes about 4 hours to get there from Lima and, since they are still working on it, the road is not "perfect" but the trip is definitely worthy. It is a life experience to be part of the change of world history.

There are two ways of getting there. We took the one that avoids the river but goes through chicken farms. Before getting there, our car had to be sterilized (it reminded me of the time I left NY for Xmas and the plane had to be defrosted!!). This is the machine they used to sprayed us with disinfectant.

Everything, from the restaurant to the office there is environmentally balanced. No bricks, nothing that doesn't fit into the archaeological site. We put our hats on (it was amazing to feel how hot it was in Caral and how cold in Lima!!) and we were ready for the visit!!!

Miguel Palacios, our guide, also works in the restoration area. He explained us how they have to do a drawn of every single rock they find, they catalogue it, measure it and then put it back in its place. An artist job!! and a job that has taken them more than 12 years.

There are several pyramids. The most important people lived in the centre of the city and the rest of the people lived in the periphery (what is now the valley of Supe). It hosted 3000 to 4000 people and it is thought to be a sacred city visited by many people with a theocracy.

They are still working on it, since not all of the pyramids have been completely cleaned nor all of the sacred city.

If you would like to see more on Caral, visit: http://www.caralperu.gob.pe/principal_ing.htm

going to Cuzco / and racist soccer

2007-06-14T22:17:00.000-04:00

Cuzco city at night

I am very excited! In less than two weeks, I will go to Cuzco. I haven't been there for 13 years and can't wait to see my family, have fun in Cuzco city and go for the fourth time in my life to Machu Picchu.

Machu Picchu (picture taken from http://www.toddadams.net/images/wallpaper/)

I can't also wait to see the reactions of the people from Cuzco after the racist and discriminatory decision of the FIFA (the international football association) that no international games can be played in stadiums that are located over 2,500 meters (8,202 feet). Which means that the stadium located in Cuzco city (which is at 11,155 feet) and the one in La Paz (Bolivia), among other stadiums in Peru, Bolivia and Ecuador, cannot be used. This is Eurocentric, racist, xenophobic, to say the least. Their excuse is that it can be dangerous for the players to play beyond 2800 meters. The Andean countries have complained. They say that playing in our high cities can be as dangerous as playing under the rain and less dangerous that playing in extremely hot temperatures (like European cities during the summer). So, the regional government of Cuzco has declared FIFA president Joseph Battler persona non-gratta. And I can't agree more.

People from Cuzco are very proud of their city, of their history (the capitol of the Inca's empire), and of the fact that Cuzco still is the "bellybutton of the world." And if you come to Cuzco city, you'll understand why.

More to come....

waiting in line with pride

2007-06-12T16:46:00.000-04:00

There is a law in Peru that says that if you are older than 60, pregnant or disable you should not make a line for anything. So, at banks, grocery stores, pharmacies, phone companies, energy companies, etc, there is always a window for "people with special needs."

The funny part of this is that the line is always made of old women. My mom, as soon as she turned 60 this year, took advantage of the law and now leaves every place after 5 minutes. While I have waited, sometimes, at the bank for 40 minutes!! But, there are almost no men in those lines. Yes, you see the old guys in the normal line. Their stupid pride does not allow them to go for the "old people" line (the same problem that makes them go after girls in their 20s that look younger than their actual daughters). I laugh at them when I go with my mother and we leave a place after 5 minutes and they are still there standing, waiting, with their grey hair and their wrinkled faces.

enjoying karaoke

2007-05-31T00:11:00.001-04:00

I always hated Karaoke. Since I think that I do not have a good voice (even though I have sang at a performance of mine and took some singing lessons), I never liked the idea of singing "like a virgin" in front of a bunch of people and embarrass myself. But this last Saturday I went with Maya and her friends to a Karaoke place. It was N's birthday and she rented a private room in a Karaoke place. And I re-discovered the cathartic effect of singing Karaoke. I had sooooo much fun. Specially because it wasn't done in front of lots of people. Just Maya, N and her friends. Of course, I sung the typical "karaoke" songs that I will never ever sing otherwise.

Do I love karaoke now? Not really. But I had a great time and I wouldn't mind singing "I will survive" like if my life depends on it again. I think the trick is not taking it tooooo seriously. (Maybe I take some things too seriously).

Of course this was not my "first time" singing karaoke. This is me with Ximena singing Karaoke (provided by a first nation service) in Calgary, Canada last year. And it was also pretty fun!!!!!!!!!!!!

where am I?

2007-05-14T19:51:00.000-04:00

Why do I still feel that I am not here? nor there? Why can't I focus on what I should be focusing on? Why do I still feel that my life is about to begin? Once a fortuneteller told me that I always was living waiting for the future to come. And that is exactly how I feel right now. Maybe because I want this uncertainty to be over. Maybe I feel blue because of that... the uncertainty. The damn dissertation. The feeling that I can't overcome my fears. What am I scared about? My future? My present?

I will be there in a couple of months for almost a month.

Do I miss it that much or is just another excuse?

Where do I belong?

my Saga-Ripley picture

2007-05-07T12:34:00.000-04:00

This is the picture of me with Katy and Brenda, my students, that has been posted at the Peruvian hotties´webpage... aren´t we hot???? ;-)

Peruvian Hotties

2007-05-05T18:58:00.000-04:00

We launched a new operative against racism ("Cuerazos peruanos"). This time we asked people to get together infront of Saga and Ripley, two department stores, which have caucasian models in all of their publicity. We wanted to let them know that Peruvians are multiracial and the majority of people are actually not caucasian.

So, I went to the demostration with some of my students from PUC. The idea of the demostration was to pose as models for their ads. It was very interesting to see the different types of people that went there: policewomen, parents with their children, grandmas, etc. Here you have pics of my students and of an old woman so you can see what I was talking about.

All of my students (who came with me to the demostration)...
Am I optimistic about defeating racism in Peru? Well, not in the short term; but I love to see young people as my students coming to these things. It really gives me hope.

my size 4 and my life in Indy

2007-05-03T22:55:00.000-04:00

First of all, my size 4. Here you can see how much weight I have lost (althought I think I might have gained a little this week with all the work we have done and all the food we have been eating). So, this is me in Indy.

Second, my life in Indy. Well, not exactly "my life" because the main office is in Indy but my life remains in Peru. The mistery is unveiled... I have been appointed the resident director of the new study abroad program of IFSA-Butler in Peru. I came to Indy for a conference where I met all of the rest of RDs from all over the world. In this pic you can see Lourdes (the RD of Malaga), me (Peru), Lynne (London) and Diana (Merida). Great women!!!!!!!! I miss you already girls.

We have been giving and receiving presentations and having workshops for more than a week and I have to confess that I am exhausted!!! But the RDs are awesome, they all helped me and explained me everything.

Now I am going back home. In the meantime, I am at the airport in Miami. I had to pay 9$ for having internet connection. I have been here for more than 6 hours and have refused to go outside the airport. What have I done all these hours? I have watched the entire season of Grey's Anatomy. The best 9$ I have ever spent in my life!!!!

Shop to drop

2007-05-03T08:23:00.000-04:00

One of the things that I have mixed feelings about in the States is the fact that you can find great deals on clothes, makeup and shoes. It is consumerism, capitalism at its core but... my girly-capitalist side gets insane in front of a shoe sale, for instance. So, the first thing my coworkers and I did once we got to Indy and in between meetings (no fulana, I am not in NY, but I will explain that later) was to go to the mall and get nuts.

The bad part of it: I spent money!!!
The good part of it: I used to be an 8 and I have discovered that I am now officially a 4!!!!!!

what my DNA map missed...

2007-05-03T00:04:00.000-04:00

... is the fact that I am also a computer geek. Do I love computers? ohhhhhhhhh you bet I do! And yesterday was Xmas for me. I felt like a little girl in a toy store. I was at Best Buy (which I used to love when I used to live here... yes, I am currently in the States) with the goal of getting my new laptop paid by my new job. So, for a computer geek like me.... it was heaven!!! Matt, the amazing computer guy at my new office, came with me to 1)Guide me and 2)Pay for it. He was pleased that I knew what I wanted (in terms of technology and software) and how I wanted it to look like (in terms of fashion). He said it made his life easier. After looking at many many computers, I told him that I was not only a computer geek but a girly geek. So, I was looking for a computer that was like me: pretty on the outside and tough on the inside.

And I got it!!!! The latest HP looks like a Mac but is still a PC (sorry apple users, but I prefer PCs). I am writing this blog now from my hotel room, as happier as a little girl can be the day of Xmas after finding tons of presents under the tree, with my new baby on my lap. Oh, and with a new laptop purse that looks incredible!!

I think I love my new job :)

my DNA

2007-04-22T14:33:00.000-04:00

following my Palestinian fulana friend (former roomie)... I took my DNA test and the results are here:

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

dressed to lecture

2007-04-22T13:56:00.000-04:00

Since my expertise is on women who commit terrorist actions, I have been given talks on female suicide bombers almost since I came back to my country. But every talk has its own "spirit" or "energy" I might say.

The first talk I gave on this was given at my university. There, I had mostly men (which I found it very interesting), all of them students and professors. The place was packed and the questions were very interesting. It was controversial and the audience was very pleased with my approach.

The second talk was not only on female suicide bombers but also about women from the Shining Path (a Maoist organization that committed terrorist actions in Peru during the 1980s and the beginning of the 1990s). My idea was to discuss if violence can empower women. This talk was given at the British Cultural Institute and the Q&A part was extremely interesting. Students from the three universities where I teach came to it. So, I had almost the same number of men and women. A lawyer of the SP female members was there and started screaming at me. The Q&A part was almost as long as my talk! People talked a lot and got very emotional. The woman (lawyer) left after screaming and confronting me and the audience. Was I scared? No. I knew someone would come with the speech that they were not terrorists (when I was talking about the terrorist actions, not them as terrorists... long explanation that deserves a post of its own).

This last talk had no lawyers and was only on female suicide bombers, I tried to make it different and I used PowerPoint (which I normally hate using). My idea was to also use the power of media in creating an idea of what a female suicide bomber is. I found this picture from an article in an Australian magazine called New Idea. This article asked if female terrorists were feminists by portraying them as executives of terror. Without agreeing with them, I thought it was very interesting and it gave me an excuse for using visual aids in my talk. This lecture was given at a foundation and, again, I had mostly men in the audience. As in every talk I have attended or given, there was a silly man asking a question that had nothing to do with what the lecture is about and, of course, who came very late. This particular guy confronted me by saying that there are no news on female suicide bombers therefore why would I talk about them if they do not exist. And, as I always do in cases like this, I told him that he did not have any right to ask questions about something that I already talked about when he was not there. Oh, and gave them the titles of the bibliography I used. He finally had to shut up because of the rest of the audience asking him to do it.

In any case, I really enjoy giving lectures in different places. You encounter different audiences and you can test your topic from a wide range of points of view. Which, at the end, enriches it.

when the ocean scares you

2007-04-15T22:36:00.000-04:00

I respect the ocean... I have always respected it. Maybe because I have lived next to it my entire life and when I was little, my family used to go camping every time they had a free long weekend. One of the things that I like in life is going to sleep with the sound of the Pacific ocean. At that time of the day I do not fear it, but love it.

But last weekend, I remembered why do I respect it so much. Because of global warming, the waves in the southern part of Lima grew and took with them the tents of entire families who were camping. This happened around 4am of Holy Saturday. Families woke up thanks to the warning of the owners of the small restaurants on the beaches; only to see how the ocean was taking away their tents and belongings.

I stayed at my cousin's beach house (no more camping); so the only think I could do (with my cousins) was to go to the beach and see the waves. And respect and fear them. They were 5 and 6 meters high.

This crazy (brave?) girl, who is a surfer, decided that she did not fear the ocean but wanted to enjoy the adrenaline of the big waves. I couldn't do anything but take pictures of her. There was no way I could dare the ocean. I respect it too much.

The ocean makes me feel little, makes me realize how small we are. I never liked the idea of men seeing themselves as kings of the world. The ocean always makes me realize that I am just one of the elements of nature, and not necessarily the strongest one. Yes, Descartes, I do not like you at all. Reason is not all. We do not rule the world because of our reason. Nature keeps telling us that we are just one more species of animals, just like the rest of our worldmates.

Maids in their uniforms (not another "smart maid operation", this is the real deal) looking at the waves while a couple passes by on their motorcycle (that the owners of the houses use to go from one beach to the other).

Looking for a boyfriend

2007-04-02T19:29:00.000-04:00

There are a couple of new blogs that I am reading on a daily basis. One is written by a female journalist and the second one by a male one. They are looking for a boyfriend and a girlfriend respectively. It is very interesting that both blogs had communication problems as their issue yesterday. For her it was telling "I like you" to her lover and then seeing him leaving for good. For him it was talking about the "future" with a girl on the third date (and seeing her leaving for good).

I am not sure I could write about my love life and all of my past-sad-love-stories in my blog. Too sad and, let's be honest, who cares?

I am not looking for a boyfriend, but I do want one. People say one should not "look" for love; love comes by itself when you least expect it. Yeah, bla bla bla. So, I have stopped looking for love, stopped expecting to have a date with a nice guy (what is a date anyway? what defines one? a kiss? sex? butterflies?) or just seeing myself with a guy. I am focused on my classes, my friends, my family, my projects.

Well, I guess I ended up talking about my sad-love-life anyway.

Happy Domestic Worker's Day!!!!

2007-03-29T22:35:00.000-04:00

March 30th is the international domestic workers' day. We have not organized a third smart maid's operation; but there will be many celebrations throughout the city.

These are Maria and Teodora (and me before losing 17 pounds... yes I am done with the gym and very happy with the results!!!). Maria works at my house since 2001 and works as a domestic worker since she was 13. She is from Arequipa. Teodora is from Puno, works since she was 9 years old, she is the best cook ever and is currently retired. Both saved my life helping my mom while she was very sick and I was studying in NY. Thank you for all of your help and have a happy day!!!

If you have someone working at your house or who helps you with the domestic chores... show her how grateful you are. We already did it and they totally deserve it.

the Gym's diary part 5: almost done

2007-03-22T15:51:00.000-04:00

Next week is my last week. Final meeting with the nutritionist. Final week of exercises. I will miss the guys, the are very nice. But, I won't sign up for a new program.

I have lost 16 pounds... would I lose the remaining 4 in a week?????

Happy Women's Day!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-08T09:45:00.000-05:00

To all the brave women of the world who are not afraid of facing their fears...

the Smart Maid attacked again!!!!!!!

2007-03-04T22:36:00.000-05:00

This time the smart maid attacked two places in Miraflores (an upper middle class neighborhood) and I was coordinating one of them. What we did this time (dressed as maids again) was passing around the maid's law (with all their rights) and stickers with the new law that says that if an employer rapes his maid, he will be in jail between 12 to 18 years. In its majority, the answer we had was good. People asked us about the maid's law, we talked to actual maids about their rights and how can they get help from "the House of Panchita" (a maid's association) that has free lawyers. Unfortunately some people reacted with sarcasm like one who said that "unfortunately he was a racist", or another one saying "thank you for giving me the law, now I know better ways of exploiting my maid" or "go back to Asia" (which means that he actually remembered the time we went to the beach of Asia dressed as maids). But in general we are very happy because we could tell people about maid's rights.

And I also saw my friend Kristel, who is currently doing a MA in Argentina and is visiting Peru.

The next smart maid operation will be held in March 30th, the "maid's day".

... to be continued"...

the Gym's diary part 4: the exercises

2007-02-20T21:44:00.001-05:00

It is amazing how everything is so synchronized at the gym. We start with some cardio (like 15mnts of it) and then we go downstairs for some lightweight exercises (other 20mnts) and then, depending on the instructors they send us back to cardio (up to the 4th floor!!) or to use the machines. Since I want to lose weight, they have sent me back to cardio twice. After all of this, we do some relaxation exercises. But what amazes me is how the routines start every 20mnts in every floor. So, you can catch them up and go up or downstairs without losing anything. Efficient, hu? The diet is better now. At least I can eat chicken, tuna, cheese and Turkey and I lost 7 pounds already!!!

…5 more weeks to go… 13 more pounds to lose…

the Gym's diary part 3: the pain

2007-02-15T23:12:00.000-05:00

I didn't go to the gym today. I had one of the most horrible headaches last night. The doc from my insurance company came and gave me a shot of something that made me pass out. Yes!!! Bye, bye pain. I don't know if it was because of the diet from hell, the exercises from hell, the new medication my cardiologist gave me or all of the above. But I will go tomorrow. And I got all the food I need for the second part of the diet which seems bearable. I can't wait for tomorrow to come and have a cracker!!!!!!!!!! Eggs!!!!!!! Food!!!!!!!! Did I tell you I hate vegetables and my 3 day diet is ONLY vegetables???

Tomorrow, I will see how many pounds I have lost these days (they weight you every Monday, Wednesday and Friday). Will it be more than one pound?? It better be...

the Gym's diary part 2: surviving the first day

2007-02-14T22:41:00.000-05:00

I hate the diet!! Well, this is a 3 day diet for cleaning my system. I am not sure it is cleaning anything, but... am I cranky? oooooh yes! You bet I am!!! You wouldn't wanna see me right now. I NEED SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!

The good thing is that I have already lost a pound. Can you believe it? One day in hell and I already lost one pound... 19 to go.

I couldn't start the exercises (but I started the diet) yesterday because I had to take more exams (back to the cardiologist). So, I have been living 2 days in diet hell and 1 day in gym hell.

... 6 more weeks to go... 19 more pounds to lose...

Beauty

2007-02-14T20:03:00.001-05:00

the Gym's diary part 1: the tests

2007-02-09T23:10:00.000-05:00

So, I joined the gym. Not any gym, no no no. If I want to have the "extreme make over Lali edition" before classes begin I need to go to a special gym. Trying to lose those 20 pounds I have gained and hate, I signed up for this program that uses a Brazilian technique for losing weight in 6 weeks: a combination of diets and exercise. Although it is not easy to join it, nop. You have to go through tests: blood test, the cardiologist and the nutritionist. And if you do not follow their instructions they throw you out of the program. I took the blood test yesterday and today I saw the cardiologist… my heart is ready for exercising! My cousin lost 35 pounds there and says that the first two weeks are hell, so I will blog from hell. Oh! And I met a very handsome guy at the gym. Actually, I bumped into him on my way to the cardiologist office.

I think I’m gonna love the gym. :)

the Smart Maid

2007-01-29T23:56:00.000-05:00

First, I have to explain how the maids are treated in Peru. Unfortunately, because of our colonial inheritance, there are people here who think that some human beings were born to serve and others to be served. It is a complicated matter of race, gender and class. The maids (who have all of these elements: Andean or African heritage, women and from lower classes) are treated pretty badly: they have to wear uniforms that stigmatize them and differentiate them from the rest of the population, they earn almost nothing, live in very bad conditions inside the houses, cannot eat at the table with the employers, in some houses they cannot eat the same food the family eats. In the exclusive beach towns that exist 2 hours from Lima in a district called Asia the maids, besides all of what I just told you, are not allowed to swim before 6pm and have to wear uncomfortable uniforms while taking care of the children who are playing at the beach.

Tired of this racism a collective of people called "stop racism" created the idea of a group of people coming to the beaches of Asia dressed as maids and swimming in the beach (a very subversive idea: maids swimming in their uniforms!!!). I was part of the group that organized it as a volunteer. On Sunday, 12 buses departed from Lima filled with women dressed as maids and men wearing t-shirts saying "stop racism, being racist is no longer cool." I was the coordinator of one of those buses. More people waited for us in Asia. In total we might have been around a thousand people. We thought that only a bunch of people would join us, we never thought to have 1000 men and women coming enthusiastically to Asia.

This is me with Gina, who coordinated another bus and Vanessa, a Canadian girl (in the middle) who joined us, before going to the point of departure.

After departing from Lima, the 8 buses rented by the national coordinator of human rights got first to a gas station at the entrance of Asia where we joined other buses and the people who got there by their own means. The mall that exists there closed its doors. They were afraid of us (which made it very difficult to find a bathroom).

Sol y Maine, other participants. As you can see from the mic behind them, there were lots of media there from Peru and from other places. For instance, I was interviewed by the London BBC and Telemundo was also there.

We crossed the first gates that go to the beaches inside the buses but then we got out of them and started walking. As you can also see from the pictures, there were many policemen. The office of the ombudsman was also there, along with the prosecutor's office.

Before going to the beaches we started singing the national anthom. Then we hold hands and started making a human chain. When the people from Asia knew we were coming, they run into their houses with their kids. Others stayed at the beach and participated, others only looked at us, others showed us the middle finger. But we had a very pacifist manifestation.

Once the human chain was extended through different beaches the scream of "smart maid!!!" was the signal for us to get in the ocean holding hands... I have to confess that to see all these women (around 800) dressed as maids getting into the ocean was incredible. This is me having fun and enjoying the ocean. After the symbolic gesture, some people remained in the beach, some (like me) went to the mall to get something to eat.
At the mall we started to give flyers away about how to treat the maids fairly and their rights but the mall's security guards came and told us that this was a private property and bla bla bla. So we put the flyers away. This man with the peach shirt came to us and said that we shouldn't give the flyers away (long after we had put them away) and followed us until I took my camera out and started taking pictures of him. Then he ran away.

These guards were also following us until I took my camera out.

But we ended the day by enjoying our time at the mall and, before starving to death!!!, having lunch together. Then we went back to Lima in our buses with the satisfaction of the accomplishment of an important mission. Here we are with Miguel, a good friend of mine and co-coordinator of my bus.

The people from my bus were the best. I am very proud of myself and them. This manifestation shows that my country is tired of racism.

free as a bird

2007-01-23T12:50:00.000-05:00

Here I am flying over Lima. The story started when my uncle turned 80 and we threw a huge party that ended on Sunday with the entire family going to a restaurant that is right next to the Miraflores cliff where you can do tandem flights. My uncle did not have a better idea than to end his celebration by flying over the beach!! So, what could we have done but go flying with him? (hey! he's an 80 yr old guy!!) So, this is me with Marco, the instructor leaving the safe and beautiful land into the Pacific ocean...

I have to confess that I have never been that scared in my entire life. If you see my face in this picture... this is the fakest smile I have ever had!!!!! I am petrified!!!

The view is breathtaking, amazing, incredible. And Marco tells you all the details that normal people (who actually walk but not fly) cannot see about Miraflores. An extremely original tour.

You can see the reflection of our tandem (orange) on the Marriot hotel.

Pics of the other tandems that joined us in our adventure and more of the amazing views of my neighborhood.

Did I overcome one of my biggest fears? No. But at least I faced it. Do I recommend it? Of course!!! If you come to Lima, you have to fly. It is 100% adrenaline. Just contact Marco at flyantonioaym@yahoo.com or I can take you there. You won't regret it at all!!!!!!!

age and the west

2007-01-14T21:11:00.000-05:00

There is a 12yr old girl who just gave birth to twin girls. This wouldn't have been all over the media if the twins had not been too weak to survive in a small Andean town's hospital. The mother and the twins were taken to the hospital of the closest city. The girl has not been raped. She was living with a 30yr old man. Her and his parents agreed on the union. He was in love with her. She was in love with him. But Peruvian law does not allow this type of unions. Sex between a minor and an adult, even if agreed by both, is still considered rape. So, the discussion is now if the twins should live with the parents or not and if the father should go to jail along with her parents for consenting this. What some journalist say is that by doing that we are imposing Western rules into a non-Western environment. She is not a girl for the town. She is a woman. Moreover, there are many girls who have been married since they had their first period and are mothers now. To Western feminists this is definitely a rape. She is too young to know what she is doing. But I am unsure of what to think. Especially after listening to the girl. My feminist side gets mad when listening to the father of the twins crying that he did not rape her, my feminist brain thinks, “she is a little girl!!!!” But on the other hand… I don’t know. I just remember that not even a century ago my great-grandmother had my great-aunt when she was 13yo, and by my age she was already a grandmother.

cough! cough!

2007-01-13T16:47:00.001-05:00

I hate being sick!!!!!!

Let's laugh!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-08T23:48:00.000-05:00

Doctor calling

2007-01-04T00:03:00.000-05:00

It wasn't the avon lady calling, it was the doctor knocking on my door last night at 2am. I was extremely sick and called my insurance company. My insurance company (that costs a third of what I used to pay in the States) has a phone number that you can call and ask for medical advice. I called them at 2am and -to my surprise- the doctor on the phone told me that I could have a doctor coming to my house for a copay of $10 and that all the medicines would be for free. I asked her: "really? can he come now?" and she said: "Of course, we are here to serve you." I never thought that phrase could go along with the word "insurance", hahahaha. But the doctor did come and gave me all the medicines I needed.

Needless to say, so far, I love my insurance company.

tiny yellow underwear

2006-12-29T19:58:00.000-05:00

New Year's eve is coming and one of the most important Peruvian traditions is to wear a yellow underwear on that night. There is one important rule though: it has to be a gift. One cannot go and buy a yellow underwear for oneself, the underwear has to be given by someone else for free with the best intentions. What I normally do is to go out with a friend and buy her nice yellow underwear and she buys me the same.

The day after Xmas, the streets of Lima are full with vendors selling all kind of yellow stuff: underwear, balloons, hats, etc. Supposedly yellow is the color for having good luck, money, etc, on the next year.

Other traditions that one has to do at midnight: burn a doll that represents the old year (and with it burning all the bad things that happened to you), run around the block with a suitcase (to travel), eat 12 grapes under a table (for money), throw 13 coins over your shoulder (too see how much money you are going to have) and everything while wearing your yellow thong.

And, of course, one has to think about your new year's ressolutions. I still don't have mines. I only know what I am greatful about: coming back home; my friends here and my friends all over the place; NYC and all the memories; my family; the new doors that are opening for me; my new friends here and the new friends I met in Canada; closures; my NYC "family" that I miss deeply; and, of course, my ladybugs.

HAPPY 2007!!!

with a little help from my town

2006-12-23T19:28:00.000-05:00

I went out last night to a friend's place and my bug was acting weird. I think he likes to protect me because I made it back home safely. But this morning his battery died and I discovered that the municipality of my town (Miraflores) has an emergency system for vehicles for freeeeee!!! So, the truck came, helped me and I could turn my car on. The image was so funny that I had to take a picture and blog it!!!

And that also reassured me of what I already knew: I love my town of Miraflores!!!! :) and having a car is like having a teenage son.... just problems and more problems!!! hahahahahaha.

A whole different bug world

2006-12-19T11:26:00.000-05:00

I love my bug, although, the poor thing has been parked outside my house sick, for more than a month. I saw two different mechanics and they said that I had been scammed, that I need to put more money into the bug that the money the bug cost me!!!

But then I met a guy from the "Peruvian VW bug club" and I discovered that there is a whole different bug world out there. He recommended me a mechanic.

First of all... there are mechanics specialized in bugs. Other mechanics just freak out when they see a bug; but these don't. Alexander is now my mechanic. He is a bug specialist and he says that my car is ok. “It only has minor problems” he said. Another thing about bugs here is that it is extremely cheap to fix them (if you take them to the specialists), for instance, a piece can cost you as low as less than 2 bucks. No kidding.

Second of all, the club looks like fun. They have meetings, trips and exchange tips about bugs. There was one guy with Alex when he came to see my car and he said that he was about to give up his bug because, as I did, he thought his bug was useless and that he had been scammed. And then he met Alex. Now he loves his bug and doesn’t want to sell it.

I may not want to sell mine either after Alex finishes fixing it. And I may join the Peruvian VW bug club with my green 1971 VW bug!!!!

Picture of a bug taken from www.sebeetles.com/lovebug.htm

End of Classes

2006-12-12T19:51:00.000-05:00

So, it is the end of the year in Peru (calendar and academic) and we are getting ready for the summer and its three month break!!! The bad part... I won't see my students. I always get attached to my students. They are the best part of being a professor. Seriously. I miss my students at Ramapo and will miss my students at San Marcos. Although at San Marcos, I will teach again. And Ramapo was a great two year experience.

These two pictures are from the party we had at my place yesterday (something I could have never done at Ramapo since I lived faaaar away from Mahwah, or I should say, since Mahwah is sooo far away from Manhattan!!). We decided to have the last class at my house and then have drinks and music to celebrate the end of the year. So, these are my students from the MA program on gender, sexuality and public policies at San Marcos (the oldest university in America). I had a co-teacher. She was Gina Vargas (the red head woman), the founder of the feminist movement here in Peru (a real honor to teach with her). We have taught a course at San Marcos (I did most of the classes since she is travelling all over the world) and a course in Huancayo, a city 6 hrs away in the Andes from Lima (where I taught 2 courses at their Diploma on Gender and Human Rights). The students we had at San Marcos were for credit and the majority auditing students. The last ones were young and from the undergrad program. You will notice in the pics, who are grad students (first pix) and who undergrads (second pix). Here you can only see 6, but we had more. And we had fun!

the wonders of my land

2006-12-07T19:18:00.000-05:00

I have been looking for pictures from my country for a thing that may give me a job and since I just love the pictures I found: I like to share them with you.

You can see here all the variety of landscape we have: jungle, beach, dunes, mountains. Funny stuff one can do. Needless to say, I love my country.

the Missing Children from Georgia

2006-12-04T11:29:00.000-05:00

These children are dancing at a Mall in Lima. They are 31 boys and girls that came here three months ago to perform around the country. They should have gone back home to Georgia (the ex-Soviet-Union-country) last week but instead they were dancing yesterday at the food court at the Jockey Plaza Mall in Lima asking for money to the improvised audience. The reason? The Spanish embassy did not want to give them transit visas. Yes. These children lost their flights and now need money to try to get transit visas at the Dutch embassy, pay the fines and go back home. The excuse the Spanish embassy gave? They thought they were children traffickers or terrorists. A...ha.

Does it make me mad? It does indeed. It is so upsetting to see how the so called "first world" treats us. To live it myself and to see these kids being treated as a threat to Spain. I can only imagine the fear of the parents in Georgia, the kids (stuck in a foreign country with a language they do not understand) and their professors.

According to the news the children of Shavnavada (the name of the group), might be able to travel today or tomorrow if the Dutch embassy gives them the transit visa.

When would this type of things stop???

I will always miss you

2006-12-01T11:09:00.000-05:00

No matter how long have you been gone for
I will always miss you
Have I told you that?
Have I told you that I miss you deeply?
I still wait for your laugh and your sarcastic comments
I still wait for your crazy looks and your childish jokes
Have I told you that I loved you?
I still do
Deeply
Have I told you about this emptiness inside of me?
Have I told you how much it hurts?
It does hurt, it hurts a lot
And I do not know what to do with the pain.
Eight years now and the pain is still there
Time heals everything... but time is no friend of mine now
Time does not help
I am still empty when I think of you, I am still mad
And I still love you, deeply, truly

Long live Machismo!!!

2006-11-29T19:32:00.000-05:00

I spent the past two days renewing my driver's license. It normally takes 10 minutes but thanks to the Minister of Transportation and her “Zero Tolerance” plan it took me three hours on Tuesday just to get the stupid form. But today things were different. I didn’t wanna spend three more hours yesterday standing on line just to submit my form and take my picture and get my new driver’s license. So, I left after getting the form and came back today. I have to explain you what the “Zero Tolerance” plan is so you can understand my nightmare.

After several accidents on the road (especially in the Andes), the minister of Transportation (now a woman, of course) got mad and with extremely powerful ovaries created the Zero Tolerance plan which requests all the interprovincial bus drivers to change their driver licenses (which means to take new tests) and for their buses to fulfill all the requirements the Ministry of Transportation asks. So, aaaaaaaall the bus drivers that drive outside Lima are getting new licenses. On Tuesday I was at a place full of bus drivers. To explain you the context: a girl –poor thing- came in with a miniskirt to get on the line to get the form and all the bus drivers who were on the other line started screaming at her. Yes, bus drivers are not much different from construction workers: a girl on a miniskirt’s nightmare!!!

Today, I got there, thinking that I will have to be on line for three more hours but… no!!!!! The security guard looked at me and took me out of the line (where I was with all the bus drivers) to another line formed only by women and old men (in Peru if you are older than 60, pregnant or disable you do not have to be on line anywhere and you deserve special treatment… but not women younger than 60!). My security guard was concerned for the ladies. Yes!!! I love machismo! So, it only took me an hour to get my driver’s license instead of three. And I was inside the room, not outside with all the men saying nasty things.

Sometimes being in a macho country has its benefits.

Shame on you Iberia!

2006-11-27T10:00:00.000-05:00

In 1999, I traveled to Spain with Iberia. The staff treated me pretty badly, like if I didn't exist (just because I had a Peruvian passport). The mistreatment started when we went to the Spanish embassy to get our visas. But this is something we, Peruvians, are used to live: the racism from the Spanish embassy (to be honest, also other embassies) and Iberia.

Do not take me wrong, I have very good friends who are Spaniards and I like the country very much. I cannot deny my Spanish roots… But this time they crossed the line. The congresswomen Hilaria Supa and Maria Sumire (see the picture), elected by the department of Cuzco, were denied to get on a plane (yes, DENIED) and made fun of by the personnel of Iberia. They made fun of their Spanish, since Quechua is their mother tongue. “How can you be a congresswoman if you cannot speak well Spanish?” were told by the Iberia staff. Ironically, they were going to a Congress of indigenous congressmen and women in Madrid. Thank God we have now more options of airlines to go to Spain and the Congresswomen used a different company.

Needless to say that I am really angry. I am angry as a woman, as Peruvian, as a human rights activist. They were discriminated against because they do not wear “western” clothes, because Spanish is not their mother tongue, because they were women. This double discrimination because of their ethnicity and their gender is unacceptable. How dare them to do this to congresswomen?

The Peruvian Congress has put a formal complaint to the Spanish embassy and I am eager to see what the Human rights and feminists NGOs will do.

Shame on you Iberia!!!!!

November 25th: Day Against Violence Against Women

2006-11-25T19:54:00.000-05:00

Today is the international day against violence against women and we commemorated it with the students from the State University where I teach. The commemoration started on Monday with the taking over of the women’s bathroom. My students wrote many phrases on pink pieces of paper that had to do with violence against women and posted them all over the girls' bathroom, and the reactions to the posts were very interesting: some girls took the pink pieces of paper with them, some wrote and share their own phrases. But a lot of people were talking about how the women’s bathroom at the social sciences building had been taking over by the feminist girls (and some complained that the men’s bathroom was left intact). I put a post at my other blog (in Spanish) with the question of what would you do if there was no violence against women... and the answers were very interesting. We had people being very optimistic, others being negative and others sharing their own stories.

Yesterday, we organized the screening of the HBO special on the Vagina Monologues. Unlike what we expected, the auditorium was 90% full with guys and girls, some by themselves, some in groups, some couples hugging each other. We first showed the video and then wanted to have a way of bringing all the women we knew who have been raped to the auditorium before sharing our emotions and what the people wrote at my blog. The way we did it was by asking the audience to light a candle if they knew a woman who has been raped. As you can see from the pictures, all the candles were lighted up. It was a silent moment and a very touchy one. With all the women symbolically brought there, we shared our comments about the video in a very informal way and people participated from their hearts. We did not want to make this an academic thing, with people presenting papers on violence and bla bla bla. We wanted this to be personal. Well, as you know, the personal is political, isn't it?

I hope this is the beginning of something good and bigger at this University (San Marcos).

"Sometimes , a hug is all what we need"

2006-11-06T23:47:00.000-05:00

This is the phrase that started a campaign run by Juan Mann in Sidney. The interesting thing is that the free hugs campaign started in Sidney and, thanks to the internet, has travelled all over the world. Now you can find youtube videos of "free hugs" in many cities around the world (including NY, Krakow, Mexico City, etc). And Lima is not the exception.

To all my friends in NY and everywhere else in the world... free warm hugs (abrazos gratis) from Lima, Peru...

lots and lots of students

2006-11-03T17:31:00.000-05:00

My classes on “feminisms” started this week and they have been a total success. I never imagined (nor the priests from the University where we are teaching) that we will have that number of people coming to the course (we have more than tripled the number of students they have in this type of courses). We have a variety of students: nuns, female feminists, male feminists, men, women, young, old, students, professors, from Lima, from the provinces, you name it!! I am very happy and hopeful that something productive will come out of this first course.

One of the interesting things is that we are teaching this course in a Catholic University actually run by priests (not like the Peruvian Catholic University that is not run by priests), since it is a Jesuit University; moreover, this University doesn’t have gender courses in its curricula nor a diploma on gender of any sort. So, they were kind of reluctant to the subject and to me when I first presented myself with my feminist background. But, after this turnout, they might consider thinking about including gender somewhere in their curricula (hopefully).

“A total success!” said the priest who hired me when I came for the first class “thanks for doing this.” My feminist hopes increased after this, especially after seeing the number and the type of students we got: asking questions, wanting to know more, etc.

I taught Butler yesterday (an author banned by the Archbishop) and the people got in a very interesting discussion. The nuns smiled. I expected the Saint Inquisition to come and get me… but it didn’t happen… I was safe!!! And Butler was a total success, just like the course.

Oh My Gooood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-25T23:03:00.000-04:00

Yesterday has been a very funny day. These past days I have been out of reach because I was with the former dean of my University and his wife who came to Peru for a conference. They deserve a post of their own and that will come later.

But yesterday I was interviewed at a TV program about the course on feminism that I will teach with a friend of mine who is a great poet. But the nature of the program is… how can I say? Very “feminine.” It talks about clothes, cooking, make up, etc. It is hosted by two girls, one a total airhead and the second one a nice simple girl (I actually liked her and she wanted to come to our course). It was like going to see Martha Stewart and talk about feminism. Why did we go there? Don’t ask me. Ask the people in charge of PR at the University where I will teach. Who are the people who watch this program? Rich women. Will rich housewives come to our course? Well, never underestimate the power of the media.

The interview went not that bad (the nice girl was very nice) until the airhead opened her mouth. Some of the “pearls” that came out of her mouth are:

“Would this course be only for women?”
(Yes darling, why would we have men coming to the course???)
“Are there feminist men????”
(To that I actually said “yes, and if you want I can introduce you to some”)
(And the one that she dropped when she closed the interview)… “well, I am not a feminist because I love men”

Yes, she said that phrase after we had a discussion explaining her the different types of feminisms, after trying to contest the cliché of the feminist as a woman who hates men… but it looks like the information entered her empty head and left right away.
It will be aired tomorrow night and I will watch it with my friends. I really need a supporting group to survive watching the “smart” questions of this woman, hahahahahahahaha.

Latin American Idol

2006-10-19T00:31:00.000-04:00

The last episode, the finale, the big night of the first Latin American Idol is next week. Today, the three last finalists sang their last songs and tomorrow the hosts (there are two in the Latin American version) will say who has to leave the competition. It may sound like the USAmerican version; but I have to say that it has many differences. Annoying ones.

One is the concept of “Latino” they have. As my former students know, I do not like the concept of “Latino” that the USA has. I do not feel represented at all by that concept. And in this version of the Idol, the concept of Latino, as it is in the US, excludes the Andes. I think that Andean South America feels excluded from it. You can see the idea of the Latino culture: a sexy bomb, who can dance salsa and eats tacos. The female finalists wear tons of make up and very tight clothes (short ones of course).

Tonight the Argentinean male host (Monchi Balestra) and the Venezuelan female host (Erika de la Vega) talked with the third finalist (Noelia), an Argentinean girl that might go to the big finale. Monchi looked at her and said: “my single male friends want me to ask you this question: do you know how to cook?” Erika looked at Noelia and said that she did not have to answer the question, but she did, saying that she knows how to sing and cook. “She is the perfect woman” was the final statement of this Argentinean macho. I can imagine the gringo feminists protesting outside the theatre in the USA if the host asks a question like that at the USAmerican Idol version.

But we are in Latin America. Welcome to my world.

my Volvo...

2006-10-17T20:09:00.001-04:00

Having a car… big problem!!! I got this Volkswagen for my b’day (I love beetles!!!), green, it has my age and the problems I will have when I turn 70!!! I took it to the car shop on Saturday because the key broke when I tried to turn it on!!! And the &%$#@! mechanic wanted to charge me almost what the car cost me. Damn mechanics! So, I went to see another mechanic and he is charging me a fifth of what the other wanted to steal from, I mean, charge me. Because I am a woman, the first mechanic wanted to change almost the entire car parts. “The wheel has problems, we have to change this and that”, “the tires have problems,” etc, etc. “It has this and that and a GIRL like you cannot drive a car in this condition.” Aaaaaaha. Because I am a girl I know nothing about cars and need to be protected. Well, it is true, I know nothing; but my mom does. And I remember clearly what the owner told me. “I changed X and Y”, which was exactly what the mechanic wanted to change…. AGAIN. So, I went to see the owner.

The second mechanic was the guy who always fixes the cars of the previous owner of my “Volvo.” He was nice. “You don’t have to change the parts, and you can fix the other ones.” The only thing that I didn’t like about this mechanic was his laugh when I asked him if he thought that the radio that I have in my car can be stolen. He looked at it and laughed “THAT would never be stolen.” It didn’t even deserve to be called by its name: A RADIO. Good for me, less money to invest on the car.

So, I am still carless. Waiting for bumper stickers (feminist please) and more things to make my “Volvo” a feminist driving device.

Procrastination and HBO

2006-10-15T01:28:00.000-04:00

Procrastination should be my middle name. I was watching HBO and saw Julianne Moore in "The Forgotten," have you seen it? She is this super mom who rescues her son from the aliens themselves. How?? Well, because she is a mother!!! At the end of the movie the alien erases the very first memory of her son which is the first moment when she saw him: the moment she gave birth. You might think that’s it… no!!! She then remembers when she had him inside of her “I had life inside of me!!!” she screams… and the alien disappears, everything goes back to normal.

I almost went to the bathroom. If it wasn’t two in the morning and I wasn’t tired I would have really gone. Why? Because of two things:

1) The lioness, the mother who fights for her cubs, the super mom, the maternal instinct embodied!!! Well, maybe four hundred years ago this movie wouldn’t have made any sense. First, because there were no movies, he he he, and second because there was no idea of THE mother or the maternal instinct or anything like that. Children weren’t these helpless little people who needed the protection of the mom.

2) Why the aliens????? Why????????????????????? The movie was good (and I really like Julianne Moore) until the aliens appeared. C’mon! You couldn’t come up with anything more interesting than aliens abducting children and erasing the memory of the parents?

I do not like movies that start as interesting movies and then become cliché/horrible/Hollywood movies. If I want a movie like that I watch any chick-Meg-Ryanish-movie (which, when I want to procrastinate, comes very handy)… do I hear “Sleepless in Seattle” or “When Harry met Sally?????

Fem TV Prize

2006-10-14T00:38:00.000-04:00

There is a prize in Peru that is given to the best and worst TV ads (from a feminist point of view). The idea is to give the FEM TV prize to the advertisement that challenges the gender stereotypes and the SAPO TV one to the advertisement that perpetuates the clichés (usually the Beer ads). I am showing you the most voted one (so far) for the FEM TV (it is not the one that I have voted for because it is in Spanish and you won’t be able to understand it, unless you speak Spanish… in that case I invite you to go to http://www.femtv.org/, watch the videos and vote, my favorite one is Sedal –the single mom one-, Dove is also there).

This ad is from Saga Falabella (a department store), it’s mostly wordless, and at the end what it says is: “face your fears, dare to change.”
Enjoy…

with a little help of my cards

2006-10-11T18:29:00.000-04:00

I will love to get a sticker like this now that I am finally getting a car, and a sticker like this will really say everything I would like to say to people when I am driving. Actually, I may need it outside the car too, for the tons of stupid comments I hear all the time.

But the idea of the present post was to talk about cards (I got distracted by this postcard I got from my cousin), to talk more specifically about Tarot cards. I went to get my cards read on Monday with G. I won’t tell you what the reader said (an amazing woman, BTW); but what we talked about with G afterwards with a nice gelato.

I went to read my cards because my b’day is coming (actually as I am writing this post, my b’day came) and b’days are perfect days for rethinking our lives, for thinking about our goals, etc, etc.

We were discussing why a couple of smart women like us would go to have their cards read. I mean, we both are rational. We know that the future is made by us and bla bla bla. We are professionals, etc, etc. Why would we spend money and time to have a woman tells us what will “really” happen to us? The answer? Too much rationality in our lives. Too much uncertainty. We need something or someone telling us that what we are doing is actually ok. Our cards, I have to say, couldn’t be better. I felt as if all of what I am doing right now is taking me through the path that I always wanted. My head tells me that, but there is something beyond or behind my head that is not so sure. The cards help my head (or whatever is behind or beyond it) to feel safe.

Another answer to this question is that I am not completely rational. Ok, I may be a philosopher, but remember that I am feminist philosopher. I do not believe in the supremacy of the logos (or, I do not understand logos as just rationality). I believe that there are things that surpass the mind (like the body). Things that cannot be explained by this phalogocentric culture of ours.

I know my male philosopher friends will laugh at me and some female but rational philosopher friends will also do if they know I went to have my Tarot cards read… and I will tell them: “amazingly enough, darling, I don’t give a shit.”

Don't you love the poster of my new course????

2006-10-10T19:32:00.000-04:00

To lose or not lose

2006-10-08T00:06:00.000-04:00

I just found out that my high school's 50th anniversary’s big dinner is coming up soon. It will be at one of the most elegant restaurants here. My friends are all excited about it. “We should get tickets soon”… “We should find out about getting seats together”… “How many tables are going to be there?”

And, of course, the first thing that popped in my mind was: what the hell am I going to wear???? I need to lose weight!!!!!!!!! I know that I should not care about it, that my body is my body and I should not care about what society says and bla bla bla. But, hey, I’ll see people that I haven’t seen in, at least, ten years. I am not married; I will go by myself, no kids, and no pics to show of a happy family… Would they care about me becoming a PhD? Don’t know. The first and only time I went to one of these things, one former classmate of mine said to me: “so, you are studying to become a philosopher??? Well, it doesn’t surprise me, you were always the crazy one at school.” All of my female classmates were either married or in their way to getting married. What would they see in me now? A single woman in her thirties. A poor thing. The crazy one. Not an ABD. Not a professor.

So, do I really want to go there? Why would I spend dollars and time to be there and have meaningless conversations? Why would I have to lose weight to show that I am ok?

I am too old to say that I am going because all of my friends are. Although I am curious, I want to see what people are up to.

Mmm, we’ll see. It is too late at night and Richard Gere is on TV. I cannot think about dinners, pounds or dissertations anymore. He’s too damn handsome.

More to come…

Liberated woman!!

2006-10-05T23:32:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine got lucky last night. This morning she called me on the cell. No remorse, just to gossip. When she was telling me all the juicy the details, an image came to her mind: a friend of hers used to have sex with a guy. Only for fun, no commitments. Her friend felt as a liberated woman. You know, free from ties. But my friend’s boyfriend (at that time) was friends with the guy with whom she was sleeping. When asked why he was sleeping with her, he said that she was “ugly but easy.” The former-boyfriend told my friend immediately. Too much for a liberated woman. So, this morning, my friend was asking herself: “would the guy I slept with think the same about me?” Well, do we really have to care about it?? Unfortunately in a city with 9 million people but a fast and dangerous network of gossipers: yes.

Third wave feminists say that second wave ones have actually turned into men’s sexual dream without regretting it. A “liberated woman” is actually what men want: sex with no commitments. Women end up playing by men's rules and calling themselves feminists.

So, it looks like there is no way out of the aporia. If we want to have meaningless sex… we are easy (euphemism for whore). If we don’t want to act like that… then we are repressed. You cannot have it all.

Oh Garden of Eve, where are you when we need you the most?????

Hips don't lie

2006-10-04T12:35:00.000-04:00

Shakira said that she cannot afford getting pregnant because she is booked for the next two years. And, you know, hips don’t lie. The Argentinean husband of a Peruvian actress told the press that it is up to her when they would get pregnant since it is her who would have to stop working (she works mainly in sitcoms).

Every time I hear things like these ones, I think about two wonderful images: one is the image of a professor of mine at Rutgers who taught her class while breastfeeding. The class was at the PhD program on Gender. Sometimes she breastfed the baby during class, breaking the boundaries of public and private spheres. And I loved it! It was a living manifesto of why our lives would not have to end just because we give birth to a baby. Work and motherhood are not irreconcilable. The problem? One of the girls at the class complained to the chair. That really hurt my professor. A feminist doing that to another feminist? Well, as Beauvoir said, it is often that women are traitors to their own gender.

The second image is that of Debra Messing in Will & Grace, sooooooooo pregnant and beautiful, while her character was not pregnant at all and without hiding the belly under tables or purses. I might be wrong but I think it was C.C. in the Nanny who was the first actress to keep working while being pregnant and without having her character to be pregnant or hiding it. The public knew she was pregnant and played with it, so, why would she have to stop performing or the sitcom change just because of that? Both actresses in their respective sitcoms made fun of the fact that their bodies were changing but kept working. Some great lines and situations came out of that!

If the Colombian singer has a normal pregnancy, would it be too hard for the fans of Shakira to accept the fact that her pregnancy can be something natural, normal, and she can go out and move her hips while showing a belly?

October: Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2006-10-04T12:28:00.000-04:00

Adios Maria Angela

2006-10-02T15:16:00.000-04:00

This is a sad moment and a sad post. I am saying goodbye to a friend in a virtual format. I just found out that Maria Angela Canepa, former professor of mine and my first psychoanalyst, passed away suddenly on Friday. I couldn’t go to her wake or funeral as it happened yesterday and I only found out this morning.

She was one of those professors that really took care of the students. She helped me a lot through a very difficult period of my life. Maria Angela was well known for being a great human being, one of those that leave their mark on people. I am out of words and full of sadness. So, I’ll make this very short.

Gracias Maria Angela por todo. Te vamos a extrañar mucho.

Laura

Sex and the City

2006-10-01T21:37:00.000-04:00

If you think that all women talk about sex like the girls from Sex and the City do… think again. At least in Peru. I do not remember any conversation I have had here with my friends from high school or college that have been as juicy as the ones I have had with my non-Peruvian friends in NY. Anytime I tried to touch upon the subject here, my voice was vetoed with phrases like: “you are sick” or “why do you care?” But in NY, I could talk and talk and ask and answer.

Last night I had a feminist reunion with my new group of friends. And we talked!!!! I remember that one of them complained to me months ago that in Peru (among her friends) you could not talk openly about it. So, last night, we talked. Of course we talked about other things like politics, sex, the left here, sex, the new feminist that we will bring from France, sex, the death penalty, sex, how bad the male market is in Peru (and of course, this is totally related… Sex), the new sale of clothes at one mall, sex, my doggie’s failure at getting pregnant, sex, and so on and so forth.

The market issue really worries me (us, I might say). I think I have been spoiled by gringos and European men (feminism has made them good in bed). Peruvian men, not all but 99% of them, look for their pleasure and then their pleasure and finally their pleasure. So, we were really worried. Honestly. And there are not many shops here where you can find substitutes (with batteries). Oh well, to be back home has its ups and downs (Catholic and repressed country…)

The good thing? At least I can talk openly about it without having an inquisitorial look at me!!!!!!!!! I love my feminist friends.

Sex Classes

2006-09-30T00:18:00.000-04:00

Early this morning I got a phone call from my baby’s mother-in-law. “I am worried,” she said, “Mishky doesn’t stop crying.” I could hear her screaming. So, I got dressed, drove to her house and picked up my baby and the boyfriend. We thought that he might be able to do his job at my house since he stopped whatever he was trying to accomplish once he saw his owner. With the two dogs inside my car, I went back home. For non-dog-people: female dogs respect their houses. Yes, they will never allow a dog to touch them while they are in their territory. And Mishky was very committed to preserve her virginity at her house. So her boyfriend stood by her side, snarling at me if I tried to even touch her. Since I did not want to lose hope, I called the vet. He said that maybe he could help them…

I took the lovers to the vet hoping that a sex class will help the boyfriend in knowing what to do. Two hours they stayed together at the vet’s office. I stayed at home wondering how sex classes might be for dogs. Can you imagine losing your virginity with a sex trainer? Mixed feelings went through my mind. It is not easier for animals. In fact, I am becoming even more skeptical about the so-called “instinct” (any type of it).

Two hours later I went to pick up the bride and groom, only to find out that the honeymoon was never successful and I won’t become a grandma. Mishky looked at him and said a common phrase; known by many women, “it’s okay honey, it happens to every man.” LIAR!!!!!!

My baby is sleeping right next to me on my bed (exhausted after these two unsuccessful days) while I am writing this blog. I have promised her that, for her next period, I will either get an experienced female dog to help her boyfriend lose his virginity so he can become a good lover; or get her an experienced boyfriend so she can have fun and I can have my grandpuppies.

arranged marriage

2006-09-29T00:49:00.000-04:00

Whenever I work on my laptop, my baby gets very jealous and pretends to read what I am writing. Tonight my doggie is not with me; she is -I hope- enjoying her honeymoon. This morning I took her to meet her canine groom. This was an arranged marriage arranged between her mother-in-law and her mom since months ago. Although, you shouldn’t think that because she is a doggie she will just go for it. No, no, no. Nothing even close to that. FYI, female doggies choose their canine partners. If they do not like the dog, regardless of how horny the girls might be the males won’t get lucky. So, I crossed my fingers and took my baby to meet her new and first boyfriend. I have to say that I felt jealous. One couldn’t have hoped for a nicer male. He didn’t stop kissing and caressing her. Seriously, in a humanly way. That was the positive side of it. The negative one… both were virgins. Therefore, even though they like each other, they have no clue how things work and nature sometimes can’t just find its way.

I have left my baby there, with her dowry (a bag of doggie treats); hoping for them to find out what should go where between tonight and tomorrow evening. And hopefully, I can become a grandma in two more months!!!!

The Feminist Wears Prada

2006-09-28T09:18:00.000-04:00

I have started working at a Master program in gender. We, the professors, are four girls in our early thirties who call ourselves feminists. It is a very interesting group of women lead by a very important feminist historian who runs the program. We are all what you would call “lipstick” feminists and I love it. I like them a lot; in fact I am becoming very good friends with most of them. Last night I went out with one of them, G, to watch the Devil Wears Prada. I have to confess that Meryl Streep is one of my favorite actresses. So, regardless of how bad the movie is (and, believe me, it is bad), she gives a superb performance. This is not a movie review, but a review of my conversation with G afterwards.

G was extremely pissed of because the way the movie portraits successful women. Successful woman=bitch. Although Miranda (Streep’s character) was a total bitch, G wasn’t totally wrong. In my beautiful patriarchal country a woman cannot be totally independent without calling some suspicion: she is a lesbian or a whore. G stated a frightening point: men take you for a liberal woman (euphemism for easy or even worst: prostitute) once you show a little of self determination. Especially if you are our age (you know, you are not an innocent 20ish girl anymore), work and do not live with a man. Frightening future, I have to say. But, is it different overseas? Mmm, tons of literature tells me not. It is not. Would I have to become a Miranda? Or would I become a Miranda? Well, I love shoes (reeeeeeeeeeeally love them) and wouldn’t mind to teach gender classes “dressed for success.” But would I have to destroy all the women around me to become successful? We were discussing how the feminists or gender experts who are close to our age, actually, do not have this sense of belonging to a group of sisters that Beauvoir was claiming… not at all. If they see you coming their way, they will not hesitate to stab you on your back (or won’t even wait for you to turn around). My dear young feminists… beware of the feminists who are 6-5 years older than you!!!!!! I have a mentor, but she is more than 10 years older than me. I am not a threat to her but a follower. My back is aware of the rest of Mirandas that exist out there.

I came back home and turned on the TV while I was starting to fall asleep. What was on? “What Women Want” with the anti-Semitic hot Mel Gibson. It was the end of it, so he gave this extremely cheesy and horrible line that you might remember: “I came here to rescue you, but I realized that it is me who needs to be rescued.” I almost went to the bathroom. Thank you Mel for recognizing that a man can be rescued by a successful woman!! Thanks for maintaining the hierarchical dichotomy between men and women!! I will rescue you!!! Too late for watching another movie and for deleting his words from my mind… so, I forgot his words and focused on his looks (another confession… he IS hot).

Back home

2006-09-26T19:48:00.000-04:00

So, I came back. Tough decision some might say. True. It has been difficult to adapt myself as a woman, as philosopher and as a feminist. But I know it will come with rewards. I wish!!!

To try to write your dissertation at the same time that you are home sick at your own home... is very difficult. It took me nine months. Nine months of dissociation between myself here and myself in NY. It is like I never lived there, or I never came back here. Ok, it sounds schizophrenic. It does. But it can be just the period of adjustment. A topic that deserves its own post.

Yesterday one student of mine said that I was more of a philosopher than a feminist. Mmm. Funny, I see myself not as a philosopher, and not as what it is normally understood as feminist. Identity crisis? Not really! But indeed, my class is very theoretical (well, the name of the class is feminisms) and I really think it is necessary for us, in Peru, to think about feminist theories, to create one of our own. And that involves lots of thinking, lots. And yes, I am a feminist.

So, I have envisioned this blog as my haven for catharsis. My way of escaping when I am really fed up or just want to share.

Bare with me if you want.. or if you can.